Ok, here is a little background info on what a Budism actually is.  At Jumpin' Joe's we (we = my co-workers & I) had a 50-some year old manager whose name was Paul Risley.  We didn't think he looked much like a Paul Risley, more like a Bud Wilson, hence BUDism.  Well anyways, he started making little quips and remarks about stuff and some of them were damn funny so we started keeping a log book of his yet-to-be-officially-named sayings.  At first it was just kind of a joke but then it got be a full time chore keeping track of all of them so I set up a page where employees could submit their own Budisms.  As you can see we generated quite a list, some funny, some not so, and some even offensive & shocking.  Good thing he quit before he pissed us all off because I'm pretty sure some of his remarks could've gotten him fired.  OK, I guess that was a lot of info, so on with the Budisms!

Frisbee is real cute 'til it gets stuck up someone's ass!

Hay is what cows eat, but it eventually turns to shit.

You can't make chicken salad outta chicken shit.

If you are working with shit, then you will make shit.

See you're the kind of guy, that if you see shit lying on the ground, you pick it up, put it in a bag, and leave it for the next dumb son of a bitch to pick up.

I knew you were here big guy, the flags were flying.

Nuts are sweatin', gotta go hide.

Your nuts will sweat.

If a dog comes in with its tongue on the floor, better do something about the dog.

I like you dog, you're as dumb as me.

I'm 59 years old and all the women ask me for something longer, and I always tell them; "I don't have an extension."

Boogidy, Boogidy, Boogidy down the highway.

If you dress for success, you'll be a trash man.

Don't smoke 'em, pull 'em!

It's kinda like a monkey, sure it's cute but who the fuck wants one.

To me, you are all just a bunch of dollar signs running around.

I've been in a few French whorehouses that weren't quite this hot.

What are you doing here...You're not bored, you're in heat.

One time, I had a vision about getting some ass.  The next day I was walking along, and I saw this man taking a shit.  I gave up on visions.

You will scratch your nuts longer than it will take you to put the karts up.

Sup dog, excuse me dog, it's OK dog.

What's the deal, is the counter levitating?

I won't ask you to do anything I won't do, I will pull the weeds.

I believe in shooting coveys, If I see 'em, I'm gonna shoot.  BANG!

You know what I want to do, I desperately want to have oral sex with that girl.

I was in the bathroom with Joe.  Since I'm the new guy, I have to do my sucking up.

You can stick your hand in his right pocket and you can stick your hand in his left pocket and you guys can play pool.

I had to act like the big guy you know.

Everyone in Salina must be fucking cause they aren't here.

My memory is about as short as your dick.

I see you're doing a whole bunch of human things today.

You know, instead of this BOGOF Go-Kart special, we should have a 2 for the price of 1 prostitute promotional deal.

This place kinda reminds me of a carnival, the one thing we are missing is a naked chick holding balloons that people can throw darts at.

What are we doing, buffing the mini-golf stool?

That's what she said, right?

Which one of them has the dick?

Let me see the white stuff baby.

Winking at Ashley Y and JASON?

No, but you can go stand on the mountain and play with your dicks.

FUUUUUUUUUCK!!

It spins both ways, that should excite him a little.

Johnny would like a quickie, but all he's gettin' tonight is rosy palms.

I played professional golf and I never played in the hard dick tournament. That's what it looks like here.

You all look like a bunch of pointers.

Go get the net and fish out all of the sugar packets out of the water.

Larry, Curly, and Mo; You guys need to get a life.

Sorry, I didn't know this street was your private fucking driveway.

I'm glad you're here now dog. I've been the ugliest guy here all day.

If you get hurt you gotta flop around like a fish, someone will eventually find you.

It worries me when you hold those like that, darling. Your nipples will get frigid.

If it's hot and it's black, it's gotta be good...where's Tammy?

I'm hiring fresh meat cause all the guys are running out of chicks to date.

The owners are fucking silly man.

Come on man, you brought me in here so let's see some action.

I wouldn't give you a dollar to take a swing at your dick.

I wish they had a checkers board in here so we could do something while I am waiting for this damn thing to work.

I would give that girl ten dollars to see your ugly ass naked.

You see, you're a female.  When I am alone in a dark room with a woman, I become a naughty man.

Megan's done just about everything.  You'd better believe it, she's loose!

I don't give a fuck if I kill those kids, they're from Salina, I don't know them.

You're dumber than shit Casey, but congrats you've got the job.

Hey, nice earring dog. Now all you need is to pierce the head of your dick.

I won't fuck with him if he don't fuck with me. But he better not FUCK with me.

Now whadya go and do that for, dumbass?

We need to get a bale of marijuana and smoke it in here. That'll get people to come out.

I am going to cut your pockets out so it makes it easier for you to finger your dick all night long!

I am giving you a chance to pick up some girls (hands golf ball bucket).  Now go get some balls.

Did our bearded friend take care of the pumps?

I couldn't please him if I was his fucking pimp!

Boss... You know what that is? Bag Of Soft Shit.

I think they found a way to fit the brooms in that locked red box too.

Yeah, I'm an exhibitionist. Let me show ya!

You know, I don't think I could please Ron even if I performed oral sex on him.

Dammit Melissa, would ya leave the damn hammer alone.  Do you just like having something long and hard in your hands?

Andrew I need you to get the spot welder and weld a hook on the 12th step so we can put the key to the Austin on it.

See, before when I saw Melissa holding onto that hammer, I thought she liked having something long and hard in her hands. But tell me...does it HAVE to be black???

Good thing you didn't get that on your hands, cause then you would have gotten it on your thing, and then you'd be fucked.

It's just like everything else in life dammit, you gotta turn it on before you screw it!